Personality Plus
Romans 12:3-5
I want you to take God's Word today and turn to Romans 12:3.
The Bible says that you and I were made in the image of God and the Bible says when we are born again, we are recreated in the image of Christ
There are five things that go together to make up your image. And I have used the letters of the word "image" as an acrostic to help us remember these.
We have talked about the inward man. And we have talked about the fact that God has given us the heart that is different, desires that are different. He made every individual with a different inward motivation and drive. And that is part of the image of God in you.
Today we are going to talk about "m" which is your make-up. "A" will stand for abilities; "G" for gifts; and "E" for your experiences. And all of these five things go to make up your image, make you who you are, who God made you to be.
In Romans 12:3, Paul talks about your make up, that is your personality.
Romans 12:3-5
Now most of us give lip service to the fact that God created us unique. We are all different because God loves variety, so He made each one of us differently, just as He made each snowflake different.
God loves variety. But we don't realize how different we are. How unique we are.
Mathematicians estimate that the DNA molecule that determines your personality and determines your whole being, all of the things that you inherit, all the things that make you the total person that you are, estimate that there is an infinite number of possibilities and combinations in DNA molecules.
And of course, yours are combined in a way that would fit no other person who ever has been born or who ever shall be born. And God created your DNA. And God brought your DNA together in a very unique way to make you the person He wanted you to be.
DNA can unite in 10 and then right behind it two billion, four hundred million zeros.
Now what does that mean? It means that if you were to find somebody who has lived or will ever live who is exactly like you, it would be a chance of 1 in 10 with two billion, four hundred million zeros after it. You are truly unique. Nobody has your DNA and will never have your DNA.
Now if you took each of these zeros and let each one be represented by one inch, would need a strip of paper 37,000 miles long just to write your chances of every being exactly like somebody else.
When we say God made you unique as an individual we are not making a theological statement only, we are making a scientific statement. Science bears it out that your DNA makeup is totally; your genetic design is totally different than anybody else's.
And a great part of this is your personality. Your makeup on the inside. What makes you act and think and feel the way you do is what we consider your makeup and your personality type.
Now, your personality is greatly inborn. The pattern for your personality is a part of the makeup, the way God made you. Part of your personality is developed and affected by heredity, but a great deal of it is that which you were made with, that which you arrived with when you came into this world.
So we want to talk today about your inborn makeup, your inborn personality.
Scientists say there are 18,000 different character traits that can combine to make up your specific personality. It is very complex, 18,000 different kinds of personality combinations.
Your personality influences every decision you make, it influences how you handle adversity, it influences what makes you happy or what makes you sad, what you think is funny or what you think is not funny.
That is why not everybody laughs at the same jokes and not everybody has the same sense of humor. We are all different in that. It tells us why some people react toward situations with great emotion and outward outbursts and some people react to situations in a very meditative, contemplative kind of way, in a very quiet kind of way.
So it is important to understand your makeup. What your personality type is and how God made you to be.
I. RECOGNIZE DIFFERENT PERSONALITY TYPES
The first thing I want us to do is to recognize different personality types. Why is that important?
It is important because if you know the personality type of your mate or the people with whom you work, it will help you to get along with them better. It will help you to understand them.
In fact, many people misunderstand you and me because they don't understand different personality types. And how different types of people respond.
So generally people have the attitude why can't you be normal like me? And they use themselves as a standard for normality and everybody else is out of step. And the fact is it is important to recognize these different types.
Look at I Corinthians 12:6
Now understand this: there is no right or wrong personality temperament. God uses all kinds, including your kind. And many people are made to feel not that just some things about them are wrong, but they are wrong. That something is wrong with them because they are the way they are, respond the way they respond and have the personality they do.
The fact is God uses all different types. He made you and gave you a certain type of personality and a certain type of temperament.
Now the psychologists and psychiatrists have been trying to classify these for many, many years.
Basically they boil down to four.
Tim LaHaye in his book, "Spirit Filled Temperaments" talks about the four broad categories of personality types. And everybody fits in to those types.
Although you may be a combination of the four, you may not be strictly one but you will be more like one of these types than you will be any of the other three.
Many, many years ago, two thousand years ago, a fellow named "Hippocrates" came up with these same four divisions, so they have been around for a long, long time.
Let's look at these four types and maybe you can see what type your mate is, or what type your boss is, or what type you are and perhaps it will help us to begin to understand who we are, whom God made us.
I will let these be represented by names. They are Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic.
And first of all, I want us to look at
1. Sam and Suzy Sanguine
First of all, notice they are not gender specific. You can be a man or a woman and have any of these types. It applies to both, male and female. What is a person who has a Sanguine type of personality?
First of all, a Sanguine's goal in life and in any situation is mainly to have fun. They just want to get past whatever it is that precedes the fun and they want to have fun. They are not concerned about details.
They go on a trip and they don't really care about where they are going, where they are going to stay as long as they know when they get there, they are going to have fun. They are going to enjoy the moment. They are the life of the party. They are very extroverted, they are outgoing, and they are very friendly. It is easy for them to talk to people. They never meet a stranger. They just have that warm kind of personality.
Now if yo are involved with a sanguine, sometimes, it can be very, very difficult for you because they demand a great deal of attention. They have to have it. It is a part of their makeup. They are very curious, they are very optimistic and fun loving.
And the whole goal in life is to have fun. They don't necessarily care about the balance of the checkbook. They just write the check if they are going to have fun. And you can see how it causes a lot of conflicts because they are not really concerned about structure. In fact, they don't like structure, they don't like rules, they don't like schedules, they don't like to know that they have to do something at a certain time.
They just like to hang loose because it might be an opportunity to have fun. And they don't want to miss out because they have to do something or be somewhere else. That is Suzy and Sam Sanguine.
2. The second one is Carl and Connie Choleric.
Here is a person who is a born leader. Here is a person who has to be in control. Here is a person who has fun by working.
Now they don't spend a lot of time with leisure and if they do they make leisure into work because the Choleric is really not concerned about leisure. They are concerned about accomplishment.
They are very possessive. They are a person who very, very much has to be in control of their situation. Many times we say they are an obsessive person, they are a compulsive person. We call them "work-a-holics." Type "A" personalities.
That is the Choleric, that is what drives them and makes them who they are. Because of this, some people may see them as being very controlling, domineering. A person who is very, very serious most of the time, a person who many times is seen as critical or harsh because they come to the heart of a problem and they see what must be done and they do it.
They may not keep a strict calendar of everything and all the details but they have it all in their head. They don't have to write it down on paper, it is just their makeup to be able to move in the flow and to know exactly where they need to go.
3. Melvin and Melanie Melancholy.
Melvin and Melanie are very organized. They are very introspective. They are very serious about everything in life.
They go on a vacation and it is very important for them to know exactly how much time they are going to spend at every site. It must be planned out in advance. And it must be completed. If they set out a plan on a vacation, they must visit every site that they planned to go. They must spend exactly that number of hours and minutes.
If they fail to do so, they will feel guilty because they set high standards for themselves. And when they do accomplish the goals they have set for themselves, they feel very badly about themselves and they make others feel badly about it as well.
They feel it is there fault if things do not happen as they had been planned to happen. The Melancholy is a perfectionist. And their main goal in life is that if anything can be done, it can be done perfectly. And it must be done perfectly. And they must complete every task that they set forth to do in the timeframe that they set forth to do it.
Melancholies set such high standards that many, many times they open themselves to disappointment with self and disappointment with others when others don't live up to it.
But they can understand people who are in pain because they are sensitive to pain. They are sensitive to guilt. They understand people who are going through difficult times because they know exactly what that is like, because they are very harsh on themselves. In fact they are harsher on themselves than on anybody else.
4. Phil and Phyllis Phlegmatic.
Now Phil and Phyllis are very easygoing, very mellow. They don't take too many vacations because they can't really decide exactly where to go. And when it comes to going to a restaurant, they really can't decide exactly what they want to eat that night.
And they don't think it is because they are indecisive they just consider all the different choices and they finally consider all the different choices until there is no time to go!
They like to have fun by relaxing. They are uncomfortable with a hectic schedule or with pressure. Their main goal in life is to relax and to take life as easy as possible. It doesn't mean they can't focus or they can't accomplish something, if it is something they are interested in and committed to, especially if it is something that will help them to relax later and do what they really want to do, they can focus very well.
And they can complete a task like that, but unless it is very important to them, there are many paths that go uncompleted and unfulfilled because it is really not all that important to them to finish. They will get to it some time.
They can pack everything for vacation and leave half of it at the door; it just really doesn't matter to Phil and Phyllis Phlegmatic! And because of that they are always looking for the shortcut, for the easiest way to get something done. Because they want to hurry and get it done so they can relax and so they can enjoy their life.
And if your mate is that way, if you mate is a Phlegmatic and you happen to be a Choleric or Melancholy, you can see that the sparks will fly.
As a matter of fact, God usually puts opposites together.
Now which one, most clearly fits you? You may be a combination of these. This is just a very quick thumbnail sketch. You may not fit in to exactly one, you may have some characteristics, but one of them will fit you more than the other three. Think about which one you fit in to.
Think about which one your mate fits in to or which one your friends fit in to or maybe the people with whom you work and if you can begin to see that many times if God puts somebody who is ridged with somebody who is flexible it can cause conflict or it can bring balance.
If God puts somebody who is very detailed with somebody who could care less about details, it could bring conflict but it could also bring balance. So these personality types are very important to recognize and will help us to get along with others and to understand others and where they are coming from in their makeup.
In I Corinthians 2:11 the Bible says, "No one can really know what anyone else is thinking or what he is really like except that person himself. And yet we are even a mystery to ourselves so many times."
And the possibilities for conflict in marriage and conflict in homes and conflicts in parenting come many times because we have the attitude, "why are you not NORMAL?"
Which means, why are you not like me? Well you see if God made everybody alike it would be a boring world wouldn't it? Especially if He made everybody exactly like you! I mean it would just be boring.
And if you are just like your mate, then one of you is not necessary. God put opposites together to bring balance and that our personality types might compliment one another. And many times, that person who is Phlegmatic, who is laid back, who is mellow, who can bring the balance into a highly charged emotional situation, or the person who is Sanguine, fun loving, can help you get over a rough spot. If you are a Melancholy, they help bring you through that time.
But God uses you the way you are. He made you the way you are. If you are Melancholy, God made you that way and He made you so that in the body of Christ, in the church, you would fulfill a function of ministry to other people.
So the body of Christ would be complete. And we need to remember that when conflict comes in the church, many times, it is because you are concerned about a ministry and somebody else isn't. And you can't understand why nobody else is concerned about the ministry that means so much to you. Well, their makeup is different.
God didn't make them to as sensitive to that part of that ministry as you are. Don't lay a guilt trip on them and say why aren't you here, why aren't you a part of this?
It means a lot to you because that is what God meant for you to do, but God didn't need everybody to do every ministry. And that is why He gave us different personalities. And we think and act and feel according to the way God made us.
Most of the problems in life are people problems, conflicts with people at work or conflicts with one another in the home or in the church.
And in the Bible you will find Bible characters having conflict. Paul and Barnabus couldn't walk together any more; they couldn't minister together any more. They split up. Paul and Silas, they split up. Paul and John Mark, they split up. Paul and Peter had a conflict.
Now, Paul was a Choleric. And to a Choleric, his way is the right way; his way is the only way. So, you can see the conflicts in the Bible, and yet God used Barnabus, God used Silas, God used John Mark in a great way, but they had different personalities.
We must learn to recognize that. And we must learn to
II. RESPECT DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES
Proverbs 19:11 says, "A man's wisdom gives him patience."
How can we can be patient with other people who don't see things as we do or who are different than we are? We must remember it is determined by the wisdom of God.
And I believe what I am sharing with you is the wisdom of God. I believe it is what God reveals in His Word about the image of God and the image of Christ in us. So respecting different personality types means three things.
1. Be Aware Of Personality Differences.
You remember the Bible says that Esau was a man, a hunter of the field, and Jacob was a quite man who stayed at home.
Can you image the difficulty Isaac would have had had he insisted on Esau staying home more and Jacob getting out more?
It would have helped Jacob if he had insisted on him becoming a wrestler or taking some wrestling lessons later on in life. But Esau and Jacob were different. And we need to learn that our children are not us.
Our children have totally different personalities than we do. And that is why different children coming from the same parents can be totally different in the way they respond and what they achieve and what their interests are.
We need to accept that as God's work, as God's gift. And we need, rather than to try to force a child in to our image, we need to channel them in to becoming all that they can be in the image that God has placed in them, in the way that God has made them and see that it is not negative that they are not the way that we expect them to be.
We need to help them to see that they can help themselves as God made them. And they can become all that God made them to be. And God can use them like they are. We need to be aware of personality differences. Many times we misunderstand people, we misjudge people and we harshly criticize people because we are not aware of the differences of personalities. It is the way God made us.
2. We Need To Accept Personality Differences.
Romans 15:7
It means that it is not our goal in life to change our mate into the image that we desire. It is our goal in life to compliment them, to help them become what God made them to be in the image of Jesus Christ. It means accepting them as God has accepted us.
Look at the disciples of Jesus; they were not all one personality. They were all different. They were diverse.
John was a very meditative and a very thoughtful, philosophical man. Peter was very impulsive and very outspoken. Simon was a zealot who was for rebelling against the Roman government.
Matthew was a tax collector who collected taxes for the Roman government. Nathaniel had a very easy time believing on Jesus. Thomas had a difficult time believing on Jesus.
They were all different and yet God used every one of them in a very special and unique way. Jesus chose them knowing that their personalities were so different. And they walked together with Jesus for 3½ years.
God puts into a church all different kinds of personalities. Every church’s goal ought to be to become a caring, accepting environment where people can fall in love with Jesus Christ and share Him with other people.
Churches must learn to be accepting of each other's personality differences. Not only to be aware of it, but to be accepting. To accept one another in this church as Christ has accepted each one of us.
3. We Need To Appreciate Personality Differences.
I Corinthians 12:27
Listen, you are vital to the body of Christ just like you are. You are vital to the body of Christ and you are an integral part of the body of Christ and we need to appreciate that fact about one another. God placed each one in the body for His purpose in His plan. Growing in Christ-likeness means appreciating other people and the fact that God has placed them in the body and God has made them different.
When you go to eat, you don't eat with two forks, it is a knife and a fork or not two spoons. You need all the utensils because each one of them has a different function.
God needs you in the body of Christ. Some of you may not be the born leader; some of you have a different personality type. God needs each one.
God needs a Sanguine, God needs the Melancholy, God needs the Choleric, and God needs the Phlegmatic, God needs everyone in the body of Christ. And He uses each person in a very special way. And you and I need to appreciate and have a profound respect for one another and who God has made us to be.
You say, well how do you respect people who have negative personality traits? How do you respect that, how do you deal with that?
First of all, correct the assessment. There are no negative personality types.
They may be used in the wrong way. They may not be under the control of the Holy Spirit. They may be ungodly in behavior, but not in design.
We need to pray for one another that we will channel those traits and use those traits in a way that glorifies God and makes us like the Lord Jesus and helps to conform us to the image of Christ.
Here is what happens, when you are aware of personality differences in the church, in the body of Christ, when you appreciate those personality differences and you accept them, you are becoming like Jesus.
So, we must learn to
III. Respond to Different Personality Types
Your job, your service, your ministry in the church needs to match the characteristics of your God-given image. And when you find your niche, you are happy, you are affective, and you love it. It is not something people make you do, you can't wait to do it because it is what you were made by God to do.
And what’s true for you is true of others.
Some are placed in the body to lead, some are placed in the body to inspire, some are placed in the body to minister, some are placed in the body to help those who are in pain and in hurt, some are placed in the body to plan and to organize the body of Christ, but everybody is somebody in His body.
There is no wrong type of person; there is no right type of person. We are all right because God gave us a makeup, a personality, a basic personality trait that causes us to think and act and feel the way we are.
Now, I pray that God will lead you to bring all that you are and consecrate it to Jesus because listen, the Bible says in Romans 12:1-2 that we are to present ourselves and that means our total self.
The King James says your body but it is talking about the total self. How do you lay on the altar a sacrifice that is just part, you bring the whole thing, the whole you for a Holy God and you put it on the altar.
And you accept who you are and rejoice in who you are. And you present to God who you are. And the God who made you for a purpose and a plan will begin to work in your life to bring you the greatest fulfillment in life and that is knowing that you are being used by God and you are fulfilling the purpose for which He made you.
