The Actions of One Who Forgives
Philemon 8-18
If you have your Bible, please turn to the little book of Philemon. This brief epistle of 25 short verses, one chapter, is a living lesson on forgiveness. And this is our third out of four looks at this little epistle. The first three verses gave us the introduction. Then verses 4 through 7 showed us the characteristics of someone who forgives. And now in verses 8 through 18 we come to the action of forgiveness itself. Next week, in the closing verse, we’ll see the motivation for forgiveness.
Just a quick review: Philemon was a Christian layman living in the city of Colossae and in his home the church at Colossae met. He had been led to Christ by Paul. His wife was Apphia, his son Archippus, they had a slave by the name of Onesimus. Onesimus ran away. He was a fugitive, a runaway slave. He wanted his freedom.
He ended up in Rome. And when he was in Rome somehow by God's providence he ran into the Apostle Paul. Paul was a prisoner there and able to do some ministry and somehow this runaway slave, Onesimus, was led to Paul and Paul led him to Christ.
Now he sends him back to his owner, Philemon, with this letter asking Philemon to forgive him for his defection, for his defrauding and for whatever he might owe Philemon, having stolen things when he left. So it is a call to a man to forgive one who has sinned against him, namely this runaway slave Onesimus.
Now while the theme of this little book is forgiveness, it is interesting that the word is never mentioned in the text. It's almost as if the Holy Spirit made this a "fill in the blank" epistle. It's all over the place but yet never stated as forgiveness and yet it is clear to the reader that’s what it's all about.
Another curiosity of this book is the fact that there are no doctrinal principles given that would provide the foundation for forgiveness. You would assume that as much of a theologian as Paul is, if you’re going to call a man to forgiveness, you would want to give him the theology of forgiveness, or the biblical principles that make forgiveness a mandate.
But you don't find them here. In fact as you go through this epistle there is nothing said in terms of principle about forgiveness. The appeal, quite on the contrary, is not to law or principle or theology or biblical texts but the appeal is to love. He takes the high ground.
In fact, as we saw last week, he speaks of Philemon as a godly man, and makes his appeal on that basis.
In verses 4-7, we find in Philemon a man who has a concern for God, and a love for people, concerned about the fellowship, anxious to learn, desiring to glorify God and be a blessing.
So notice what Paul says in verses 8 and 9
He says, "Look, I could command you; I have enough courage as an Apostle directly commissioned by the resurrected Christ to command you to forgive based upon the theology of forgiveness that it is mandated by God.
I could demand that you do what is proper or literally what is fitting in the Lord, but verse 9, "For love's sake I rather appeal to you."
And then in order to tenderize Philemon's heart because this is a tough scene, he throws in two statements about himself. Do this for love's sake, he says, since I am such a person as Paul the aged and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus.
Literally, he says will you do this for poor me? He's just really pulling at his heart strings here. And he speaks of himself in two sort of pathetic ways intending to tenderize Philemon. After all, this is a pretty interesting spot to find Philemon.
Now visualize that scene: Here’s old Philemon right there in his house reading this brief letter and standing right there in front of him is Onesimus, the runaway slave, who defrauded him. And all the emotion that he has been feeling from the time Onesimus first left and all the intervening time is welling up in his heart, he really doesn't know what's going on.
And standing there next to Onesimus is Tychicus whom he knows. He's got the epistle to the Colossians in his hands to read to the whole church. And this would have ordinarily been a grand time of back-slapping and hugging and hearing about Paul and the letter and all.
But here is Onesimus. He's back and he's looking him eyeball to eyeball and he doesn't quite understand what is going on. And he's feeling emotion that might make him want to take Onesimus and beat him, or imprison him.
And so the Apostle Paul says I'm just going to ask you to forgive him for love's sake and would you please do that because the request is coming from Paul the aged who is a prisoner? He just wants to pull a little sympathy.
Now the word “aged” means just that. If scholars know what they are talking about, he was probably not that old, maybe 60. But in those days people didn't live longer than that very often. In fact, he may not have been very much older than Philemon because Philemon was old enough to have a son in the ministry.
But the word “aged” carries more with it than just years in the case of Paul, it carries the idea of an aging process that no doubt had been accelerated by the experiences of Paul. You can be sure that the years that had accumulated on the back of Paul were heavier than the years that had accumulated on the back of Philemon.
He's old and he's older than his years because he's endured so much imprisonment, terrible food, illnesses, travels, persecutions, work, bodily injuries. He said I bear in my body the marks of Christ's scars all over his body from stones that crushed out his breath from whips and rods and everything else and stocks that he had been kept prisoner in.
And this tender glimpse is meant to pluck the heart strings of Philemon and maybe soften his heart a little as he thinks about this man who led him to Christ.
Paul also says, "And I'm also a prisoner of Christ Jesus." Never a prisoner of Rome in his mind, always of Christ Jesus, captive for Christ. And he's saying, "Philemon, can you dare refuse a request from poor old me?"
And what is the request? What action is he to take? Starting in verse 10 we get into the nitty-gritty, if you will, of forgiveness. And there are three actions that one who forgives must take. Three things are involved in forgiveness.
First of all, reception
The first element in forgiveness is just to open up your life and take the person back. Let him in your life.
Verse 10-13
Just take him back, he says. I'm just appealing to you, take him back. And this should be done immediately because there are three things that are now true about Onesimus. You ready for them? First all, he is repentant.
You say, "Where's the repentance?"
Verse 10
It's implied in that verse. How do you know he repented? Because he's there. He went back. He did the most dangerous thing. He went back humble, repentant to face the man he had wronged, the man who had the right of power over his life to exact punishment. He went back. That's repentance.
So that is the first element of forgiveness, the reception of the person back into one's life.
Second, not only was he repentant but he had been transformed.
verse 11
He says you're not getting the same one back that you lost. "Who once was unprofitable, but now is profitable.” Literally, it is useful, which is a play on words.
Onesimus means "useful." It was a common name for slaves, probably started as a nickname. They just nicknamed their slaves useful. And they probably had nicknamed some slaves useless because those two words in the Greek are very similar.
So depending on how good they were they nicknamed them useful or useless. Onesimus means useful. So Paul does a little play on words in verse 11, he says "Useful formerly was useless but now is useful, both to you and to me." Why?
God's changed him, he's not the same man, he's different. He's coming back to you a different servant.
There's a third element that indicates that he was worthy to be received into relationship and that is he was not only repentant and transformed, but he was proven faithful.
Verse 12-13
Paul says I've sent him back to you in person, that is sending my very heart. This guy's proven. I mean, me sending him to you is very painful. I sent him back with Tychicus because I knew it was right, he had to be restored, there had to be the reconciliation of the relationship, he had to be received by you, it had to be made right, but I just have to tell you, I'm sending him back and it's cutting out my heart. I would like for him to stay here with me.
The Apostle Paul had an immense capacity to love and he had come to the point where he loved this man. So he says take him back, he's repentant, take him back he's changed, take him back he's worthy, he's valuable, he's a wonderful friend, open your heart for him, take him back.
Verse 14
In other words, I didn't want you to be good because you didn't have a choice, I wanted you to be good because you had a choice. I didn't want to do anything against your will, I don't want to force the issue. I know you're a wonderful guy and I know you wanted to serve me and you would have done it yourself and you probably would have given me Onesimus to do it, but I don't want to presume on your love and I want you to make the choice to be good on your own free will.
More than that, Paul wanted him to see the transformation, the repentance and the value of Onesimus.
So this is where forgiveness starts. It starts in opening up my life and letting the person back in.
Now that leads to a second element. The first one is reception.
The second one is restoration.
Paul suggests that not only should you open your arms and take him back because he's worth loving but you need to put him back into service.
Verse 15-16a
What a statement. Paul says, "Look, I'm not going to mitigate the guilt of Onesimus, obviously what Onesimus did was wrong, but I just want you to consider that maybe God had a purpose." Maybe God was using this evil to produce good.
Paul says don't you think perhaps that God had planned all along that when this man left you he would come back in another way? He parted from you for a while that you should have him back forever. You lost a slave and you gained a brother. God allowed it. God overruled it. A temporary separation to lead to an eternal relationship.
What Onesimus did could have had irreparable damage in terms of the trust of Philemon. But he needed to see that God was working in this and God had led that man right to Paul, got him converted and sent him right back.
So in forgiveness there is reception. That affects our relationships. Then there is restoration. That involves our serve.
Then the third component in a forgiving relation is restitution.
There has been wrong done and that wrong needs to be dealt with. How will it be dealt with? Obviously when Onesimus bolted the place he defrauded Philemon. If the price of a good servant was 500 denarii, he would have to be replaced with or recompensed with 500 days wages.
Not only that, it seems apparent that when Onesimus left he took some of the possessions and money of Philemon in order to fund his fugitive life. And so he has definitely defrauded him.
Now this creates a problem because chances are good that Onesimus came back with empty pockets. Onesimus has nothing. So how is this problem of restitution going to be addressed?
Verses 17 and 18
Is that not amazing? Paul says just treat him the way you'd treat me. I want Onesimus to have my righteousness in your eyes. Welcome him as you would welcome me. Forgive him as you would forgive me. Hold an obligation against him as you would hold an obligation against me. Just take him back just the way you'd take me.
And then in verse 18 Paul adds. "But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account."
Restitution is always an essential component of forgiveness. It would have been right for Philemon to say you'll pay me back what it cost me to replace you, I'll take it out of your wages. You will work overtime and you will restore back to me what you stole from me when you left. That would be justice, that would not be wrong.
But you know something? There is nothing wrong with being gracious either. There is nothing wrong with saying, I know you were an ungodly sinful man and I understand that your behavior exhibited that. But now that you're a transformed person I no longer hold you responsible for that which you did in your unredeemed status, I graciously forgive you.
That would have been a wonderful thing to do and certainly would have been a Christian high ground approach to the issue. But just to take any pressure at all off Philemon, to be forced into a gracious act of total forgiveness Paul says whatever he owes you I'll pay because he has no money.
"Did Paul have any money?" Must have had enough to back up his offer, or he wouldn’t have offered. So Paul says just put it on my bill.
There needs to be restitution. Sometimes the restitution is to pay back if a person is able to do that. But sometimes the best kind of restitution is just sheer forgiveness and just the grace of God. In this case there is a marvelous component added because I want you to follow the thought here.
Paul is playing a very familiar part in the life of Philemon and Onesimus. It is a part he knew well.
It is the same part that Jesus Christ plays in the relationship between the sinner and God. See the picture?
Philemon is like God, he has been violated. He has been defrauded.
Onesimus is like the sinner who ran from God, who defrauded God, who wasted his life.
And if the sinner is to be reconciled to God, somebody must pay the price, right?
It was Christ. Paul knows that substitutionary death of Jesus Christ very well, he has preached it for years. What Paul is saying is magnificent here. Paul is saying I want to be like Christ, I want to take on the debt and the sin of Onesimus so that he can be reconciled to you.
Does this give you an insight into Paul? Do you remember when he said on several occasions, "Be ye followers of me as I am of Christ?" Here you see him as the substitution for reconciliation, much like Christ. Never are we more like God than when we forgive. Never are we more like Christ than when we carry the debt so that forgiveness can take place. Paul is acting like Christ. He says I'll take the consequence of his sin, you just take him back. A beautiful beautiful perspective in this issue of restitution.
It doesn't tell us what Philemon did, but I am quite confident that he forgave and that he charged nothing to the Apostle Paul.
What’s it going to take for forgiveness to be what God designed and desired it to be?
Reception. We open our arms, take the person back personally into love.
Restoration, take them back into useful service.
Restitution. The debt has to be settled. If they can pay, and it is just and their desire, receive the payment.
If they cannot, offer forgiveness and maybe you at the same time can be the substitute for that reconciliation even to yourself. Such is the character of forgiveness and such is the forgiveness God asks us to give each other.
Let's bow in prayer.
