Trinity Baptist Church

God’s Perfect Ten

Honoring Father And Mother

Exodus 20:12

 

As we continue our study of the Ten Commandments we come to a transition in the commandments. As we saw in our first study, the Ten Commandments address two very important relationships in life: our relationship with God and our relationship with man.

 

The first relationship that is addressed is our relationship with God. The priority of our life is to be properly related to God. The first four commandments tell us that if we are right with God we will have no other gods before us. The Lord will be first in our lives. If we are right with God we will not bow down to or serve anything or anyone but God. We will worship Him and Him alone. If we are right with God we will not take His name in vain, but will revere and reverence His name. If we are right with God we will make the Lord's Day a hallowed and holy day.

 

Those are what we call vertical relationships, a relationship between man and God and God and man.  Then after the first four, he gives six more that we call we the horizontal relationships. They deal with our relationships with one another.

 

And the order of the commandments reminds us that if we are right with God, we will be right with man and how we relate to others is a good indication of whether or not we are right with God.

 

The fifth commandment, which is the focus of this study, is the first of the Ten Commandments that address our relationship with others and it focuses on our parents.

 

Why does God put it first? Because it is primary. The child that does not learn to honor his father and mother will have a basic character flaw that will impede him from fulfilling the rest of the commandments. So honoring father and mother comes before killing and stealing and bearing false witness. This is first and this is primary.

 

So I want to give you three ways that children can do that, and by the way, this is a universal command.  Everyone got into the world the same way and no one is excluded from this command.

 

All of us are children; all of us have fathers and mothers. Some are adopted; some are foster; some are substitute; some are in heaven, but we all have fathers and mothers.

 

So here are three ways you can do it. First of all, we are to

 

 

Colossians 3:20

 

“Children, obey your parents in all things for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord.”

 

Now on the opposite side of that, to not obey is to displease God.  Does that make sense?

 

 

Why does God expect us to obey our parents?

 

As I mentioned a moment ago, this is a transitional commandment in its placement.  It is the hinge between our relationship with God and our relationship with others. And I would suggest that obedience to this command is what lays the groundwork for the totality of your life.

 

Dwight L. Moody said, “I've lived over sixty years and I've learned one thing if I've learned nothing else. No man or woman who dishonors father or mother ever prospers”

 

God ranks disobedience with the very worst and vilest of sins. If you want to remove God’s blessing and mess up your life, then dishonor your parents.

 

Parents if you want to give your child the best start they can have in life, then teach them early and well to honor you as their parent.

 

Let me show you something about God’s attitude toward disobedient children.  Turn Romans chapter one.

 

Romans 1:28

 

What is a debased or reprobate mind?  Keep reading and you find out.

 

Verses 29-32

 

 

 

 

 

You may think that disobeying Mom or Dad is a small thing, but take that list of sins and see how God ranks the sins of disobedience with the very worst sins. As a matter of fact, God teaches that a generation that disobeys its parents is a generation on its last legs, it’s a sign of the last days and the end times.

 

And we have to look no farther than this week’s headlines to see the evidence.  And it’s right here in our own back yard in Duncan with three little boys shooting an innocent man for the fun of it because they are bored.

 

And listen to their parents as they try to convince the world their boys are good boys while at the same time they’re posting hate-filled racial comments and videos with their guns.

 

And it’s not just the gangs and streets where there is a prevalence of dishonor.  I see it in the church all the time with children back-talking and disobeying their mom and dad.

 

2 Timothy 3:1-5

 

What does God say? God says if you're disobedient to your parents, your religion is a fraud. You only have a form of godliness. I don't care what you do in the youth activities at the church. You can wear bracelets and have bumper stickers and folks may think you’re really something, but if you dishonor your parents, you are a hypocrite.

 

Listen to Ephesians 6:1-3

 

 

It’s interesting that when God gave the other commandments, he gave a warning, but with this commandment, God gives a promise and the promise is that your life will be better and longer when you honor your parents.  God does not, cannot, will not and never will bless disobedience.

 

So if you want the blessing and goodness of God on your life, learn to obey and honor your parents when you’re young.

 

But this commandment is not just for the young folk.  And if you look around this room, you will find ample evidence that you'll not be young always. In fact, early in the Bible we find a reminder that the time will come when a man leaves his father and mother and takes a wife.

 

So what about when we’ve past childhood and out on our own?  How do we keep this commandment under those circumstances?

 

Well, not only do we obey them when we’re young, we are to

 

 

We have a serious problem in America and in the world today and that is we’ve devalued life.  We prove it with the abortion numbers, but we will also soon see it in the euthanasia numbers as well.  I’ve long said the same generation that kills their babies will kill their parents also.

 

We are seeing the hints of it already with Obamacare and the lack of treatment that will be a part of it for our aging population.

We have forsaken and cast away our older people. We've become hard-hearted to the elderly and many times we're expecting the government and institutions and churches to take care of our parents when it is our solemn and holy obligation before God.

 

You say, but that inhibits me and infringes on my lifestyle. I can't do what I want to do. Well let me let me you in on a little secret. You inhibited them when you were little. You were quite an infringement yourself.

 

If you have to carry them around, just remember they carried you around also. If you have to bath them, just remember, they bathed you. If you have to feed them, they fed you. If you must sacrifice for them, they sacrificed for you.

 

And just to prove what a high value God places on that, listen to what Jesus says in Matthew 15.  He’s talking to a bunch of church-folk who are neglecting their grown parents and trying to blame it on doing the Lord’s work.

 

Matthew 15:3-5

 

What’s He saying? Here's a man who has a father and a mother who are in need, most likely financial need, and they have a son who says, “Well, I can't help you out because I took what I was going to spend on you and I gave it to the church.”

 

And notice how Jesus continues.

 

Verse 6-9

 

If you're here today and you're singing these songs and you're giving your offering and yet you're not taking care of your mom and your dad, Jesus Christ said that your worship is in vain.

 

You have negated the basic commandment of God which says you are to honor your father and your mother and Jesus said one of the ways that you do that is to take care of them when their old.

 

And what if you don’t do it?  What if you just decide to live for self and disregard the needs of your parents?

 

1 Timothy 5:4-8

 

Now this phrase gets misquoted and misused a lot because it is often applied to sorry parents who don’t take care of their kids.  That’s not what this verse is about.  Notice the phrase, “repay their parents”.  This is about children honoring their parents when they have a need.

 

You see, as a child you are a debtor, and God expects you to pay your debts. Now if your parent isn’t living for the Lord or lives a wasteful, immoral life, God makes an allowance for that. But if you have a parent with a legitimate need, and you don’t help with it, God labels you as worse than an unbeliever.  And notice he doesn’t say, “as bad as” an unbeliever, but “worse than” an unbeliever.

 

You want the PEV (Plain English Version)?  You have no right to call yourself a child of God if you won’t take care of your elderly parents. That's what God's word says. There's nobody else who should do it for you if you can.

So obey them when you’re young.  Care for them when they’re old, and here’s a third thing.  We are to

 

 

Now quickly, let me give you five ways you can do that.  It doesn’t matter if you're young or old or they're young or old.  It doesn’t matter if they were good parents or bad, abusive or loving, Christian or lost. It doesn’t matter if they are dead or alive. This is not about them. It’s about you, as a responsible child, seeking to obey the command of God. Here are five ways that every child can honor his or her parents.

 

And by the way, the word honor means to take them seriously or to speak of them with respect. As a matter of fact, the word honor comes from a Hebrew word which means to attach weight to something. It means not to take your parents lightly or carelessly.

 

Ready?  Five ways that you can honor your father and mother:

 

 

Listen. Leviticus 19:3 says, “Every one of you shall revere his father and his mother”.  In fact, so seriously did the Law of God consider this issue, it provided the death penalty for any child who cursed his parents.  (Leviticus 20:3)

 

And I know what some will say.  :But my parents aren’t worthy of respect.”

 

 

Well, without minimizing what anyone has gone through, let me just gently insert this:  You aren’t a perfect child either. Only perfect children have the right to demand perfect parents and no children are perfect. Our parents are imperfect. You're imperfect, but God is holy and God says that you are to respect your parents.

 

And I’ will guarantee you this, my children are not going to disrespect their mother. I'll tell you that as long as I'm breathing and they're in the same room with me, they are not going to be disrespectful to someone who's done for them what she’s done for them.

 

I don’t think you can get any lower than disrespecting your momma.  She went down into the very valley of the shadow of death to bring a child into this world. It’s mothers, generally, who are weeping and praying and worrying over their children.  They are the ones who’ve cared for them and sacrificed for them and lived for them and labored for them and loved them and taught them.

 

And to disrespect them is a sin of the highest magnitude. And by the way, I’m not going to tolerate it out of your kids either.  I hear them being disrespectful I’m going to correct them.

 

And let me just insert this: if they’re gone, quit disrespecting their memory by talking about how sorry they were now.  If you’ve got some issues, take them to the Lord and let Him settle it. But it does no good for you to always be talking bad about your parents. Get over it! And if you can’t find anything good to say, keep your mouth shut.

 

In fact, you may wind up being just like them if you aren’t careful! You should respect your parents.

 

 

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Shakespeare said, “How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child.”

 

Again, you may say, “But my mom and dad made me do this or that or wouldn’t let me do that”

 

Thank God they cared enough to discipline you.  Even failing parents have done so much that deserves thanks. Thank your mom and dad and tell them that you're thankful. Write that note. Express that thanksgiving. Learn to express thanksgiving to your parents and if they’re gone, thank God for them.

 

 

Listen to Proverbs 1:8-9

 

Listen:  Your mom and dad know far more than you think they know. You say, well, I'm smarter than they are or I've got a better education. That has nothing to do with it. Let me tell you where your mom and dad have it over you. They have lived longer than you have.

 

David could say, once I was young and now I'm old. Children can't say that. All they can say is I'm young, but an older person has experience that younger people do not have.

 

 

Let’s just suppose your family decides to go to California on a vacation. And for the sake of illustration, let's suppose that mom and dad start out early and their son and family are going to follow and join them.

 

By the way, I think that’s a wise way to travel – in separate cars!  We tried traveling with my mom and dad once and I vowed we’d never do it again!

 

But let's suppose that you and your family wait behind and your mom and dad are driving. They take Interstate 40, they're headed west. And, then they call back to you and they say to you, "By the way, when you get to Amarillo, be careful because the road is under construction.  You might want to think about a detour.”

 

And, then they might say to you, "And by the way we found a wonderful hotel to stay in at Flagstaff. It's very reasonable, very clean and a great restaurant next to it."

 

And, then they say, “You might want to take the kids by the Petrified Forest on the way.  It’s really something to see.!

 

Now are they saying all of that because they are so much smarter than you?  No. They've just been down the road further than you have. There's something about age that the Bible says we're to honor. We're not to discount that and we have a young generation today who thinks that it knows better, but the Bible says, “Listen to what your momma and daddy have to say.”

 

 

And I know many of you have discovered what I did and that was how much smarter my daddy got as I got older!

 

Your parents have that advantage and we honor them by heeding and listening to their counsel and taking their advise.

 

And even if they are gone, you can still take advantage of their wisdom.  Do you ever find yourself making decisions because of what your parents taught you? What a beautiful ornament that is when we wear the instruction and counsel of our parents.

 

 

You are an extension of your parents. Their blood flows in your veins. When you live right, you honor them. When you live shamefully, you bring shame to your parents.

 

Perhaps the greatest testimony to parents is for their kids to live right.  Even if you consider your parents failures, don’t you want to live right and change that example for your kids?

 

And by the way, I’m talking about more than just being a good citizen and living a moral, upright life.  I’m taking about living for the Lord, and finding out what real life is all about.

 

You may not have much materially or earthly to leave your kids, but you ought to do all you can to help them learn to live for the Lord and know His blessing.

 

 

There is no greater love on earth, no more God-like love than love of father and mother for their own children and children for their parents.

 

Most parents would willingly give their lives for their children. They have loved us so much and we ought to return that love to them. Let them know how much you love them.  Write that letter. Pay that visit. Give that gift. Do that deed. Show that affection and do it while you can. If your parents are still alive, take advantage of that opportunity.

 

Would you honor your mother and your dad? Show them respect. Give them thanks. Live an honorable life.  Follow their advice and show your love.

 

I close with a beautiful story I read. During the 1994 renovation of the second-floor exhibit area of the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum, a worker found slipped underneath a display case an old photo with a note on the back. The worker took the black and white photo to Ted Spencer, the museum's curator and told him it had fallen out of one of the displays. When Spencer examined the photograph he realized that it was not a photograph of one of the 216 baseball giants immortalized at the museum.

 

The photograph was of a smiling man wearing a bulky Sinclair industrial-league baseball uniform from the 1940's holding a bat over his right shoulder. They were puzzled as to who the man was in the photograph, where it came from, and how it came to be in the museum. A note on the back of the photograph offered a clue.

It read, "You were never to tired to play catch. On your days off you helped build the Little League field. You always came to watch me play. You were a Hall of Fame Dad. I wish I could share this moment with you. Your Son, Pete."

 

Spencer sent the photograph to Steve Wulf at Sports Illustrated, who wrote an article that helped lead to the identity of the man in the photograph. Someone in the little town of Wellsville, New York, recognized the man as Joe O'Donnell. He had a son that lived in Andover by the name of Pat. After enlarging the picture on a copier, they realized that the name on the photo was actually Pat, not Pete.

 

The son was contacted and he told the story of his Dad, the relationship of love and time they shared, and how he felt he deserved to be in the Hall of Fame. So on a visit to the museum in 1988, he had secretly inducted him into Baseball's Hall of Fame and had slipped his picture under a display.

 

When the exhibits were reinstalled at the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum, the photo and inscription were placed back where they were originally located. A note was left with the items so that future curators would understand the circumstances and assure Joe O'Donnell's place in the Hall of Fame.

 

May God help us to be Hall of Fame parents so our children find it easy to obey God’s command to honor our father and mother.

 

Let’s pray.